Me: Kind of a funky month for me with a new medication that was literally making me pass out in the middle of the day. Thankfully, I work in the home so it wasn't as bad as it could have been. Worst part of it all is that the meds didn't work. Deciding to take a break for a few months. Some of the ones are really expensive like $1500 for 15 doses! The one that was making me drowsy was a cheap one though. $10 generic, I think. (Trying not to get it confused with the $30 generic.) The unfortunate part is that the drowsy side effect was starting to wear off.

Zack: Lost the dojo, but is glad that's all he lost. No one sacrificed themselves for his home so that's a win in his book. Loving the LoTR crossover. Tolkien is kind of the originator of RP games after all. And Final Fantasy loves to put old school next to high tech. I just need to stop failing on their tags. He has no problem with a woman fighter. He knew several back home even if Aeris wasn't one of them.

He is due for his item soon. It won't be anything terribly sad. Although, he may surprise me and get a little melancholy about what it means: a memory of the mentor he misses and whom he killed (mercy kill kind of thing). It's funny because he ran away from home to become a soldier and on the island, I'm turning him back into a country boy farmer.

Also. I am seriously considering giving him an actual PB. He just turned 25 last month, but some of his icons are from early on in the video game and he looks 16. Who would I pick? JC Chasez. He has the eyes even if he looks more like Squall with long hair!

Raiden: Yay! I tried to get him around and out there. He enjoyed all his tags! More developing friendships and connections in May. And now that's he's fully mortal again, it's time to figure out his place. He accepted the reality of the island waaaaay better than I ever dreamed he would. He's definitely doting over Sonya and the twins though. Kids in general and pregnant women are a source of happiness after the near extinction of life on Earth prior to his canon departure. And we have plenty of them on TR. It's funny though because Joshua is going to be feeling the opposite: a load of guilt every time he sees kids and pregnant women.

Future: I am really worried about the island being too small for all the pups I have in mind. I'm worried that they won't be able to get around enough. There's nothing to be done for it. So I'm just going to acknowledge the possibility and then move along as though it isn't a possibility. I'm not going to not app just because of that. I'll just bring them in and if I can't make recs, then I'll worry about it.

Joshua is next on my list. I may toss him into PotF to refresh his voice. It's been a few months since my canon refresh now. Like I said, he will be feeling a lot of guilt after helping Anna in her attempt to destroy the human soul, create the perfect DNA combo for V breeding and, oh yeah, experimented on Ryan's hybrid baby. You were a bad boy, Joshua.
Canon Departure Point: End of Second to last episode of season 2. In which, he remembers who he is and also successfully matures Anna's queen egg. All for maximum emotional damage.

Elizabeth 'Lizzie' Keen from The Blacklist is next. Admittedly the star of the show is James Spader's Reddington. And even though I agree with a lot of the criticism given the supporting cast, I still like them all. Lizzie will be fun, I think. A driver and a bit abrasive to boot, I see her and Sonya becoming friends. Especially over the twins, if possible. If they don't butt heads and hate each other, but I doubt that'll happen. Lizzie has wanted to adopt since forever because she was adopted herself and wants to pass that gift along. But, just when she and her husband were ready and moving forward with it, her world caved in to put it mildly. So, plenty there to build a girl friendship and I think there are several other ladies on the island who can relate.
Canon Departure Point: Either the last episode or a few episodes back when she's just suspecting something isn't right with Tom. That way I can drop emotional, revealing bombs on her.

Rinoa Heartilly from Final Fantasy VIII. I played and dearly love her boyfriend, Squall Leonhart, but he would not be easy to play without someone from home. Mostly because he'd be Wolverine abrasive with all the emo of any great emo band plus the issues of your typical Final Fantasy hero all wrapped into an introvert who spends waaaay too much time in his head thinking things over! So as much as Zell was his foil, Rinoa is Squall's opposite. She's friendly, outgoing, accident prone, a terrible planner, cheerful and cutesy. And I think there's a place for her if the current island teens will have her. I foresee her working as the IPD file clerk. In-game they wanted her to be kind of nerdy and library dwelling so file clerk seems to be right up her alley.
Canon Departure Point: Probably the end of game. Even though they won, there was still so much in the air and so much that had changed that there was plenty from which to work.

Uncle Iroh from AtLA. I just did an Avatar: the Last Airbender rewatch. Iroh was one of the last pups I considered before I left last time realizing work was going to eat all of my free time and RP brain like an evil zombie. At the time, I really related the loss of Lu Ten with the loss of my baby brother (who passed in a freak event at ten). But since then, I've buried a daughter. Both Mako and Iroh have been long time favorites. My only concern is the similarity between Raiden and Iroh. But I think they are different enough with vastly differing back stories that it won't matter. Raiden is more amused wit while Iroh is fortune cookie advice over tea. They are actually opposites. Iroh is the retired fighter whereas Raiden is in the midst of his fight and eternally will be. They'd probably be friends though. I can see them both sharing advice over tea.
Canon Departure Point: Either some time after his escape from the Fire Nation, but before his reunion with Zuko. Or, end of canon. I haven't finished the Search comic yet (because I didn't want it to end), but that's a possibility too.

Tom Hale from Resurrection. His backstory recently went crazy interesting, but we will see how canon ends. I just don't know if there's room for him either. Still on the fence, but there's plenty of time. Sunday's episode just turned his hometown, Arcadia, into Tabula Rasa. So he's a definite unless they completely reverse everything that has happened (I don't even know how that could happen) in the last episode. This last episode was really awesome with folks from WW2, even the Civil War showing up. Suddenly, I could see him fitting right into Tabula Rasa.
Canon Departure Point: Definitely from next week's episode unless ... He's going to have a lot dumped on his next episode.

Zack: For a while, I was afraid I was going to have to let Zack go. He's always been a happy guy and that doesn't lend itself to plot. Since June/July, he's been content in his role as surrogate older brother/dad/mentor. But now that I've got an ol' grump counter balancing Zack, he's just really moved into his own niche. I'm really happy with him and the plot he's had lately.

Item: I am still stumped on an item to get him. I've given up trying to surprise him or freak him out. It's Zack and he'll just take it in strides. I'd like it to be something that might surprise someone else were they to stumble upon Zack and the item, but... Still don't know what it would be.

I considered his training sword, but he's already had an item dealing with Angeal. And at this point, Zack has gladly stepped into Angeal's shoes anyway.

There's the motorcycle that he and Cloud escaped to Midgar in or the yellow truck where their "We're friends, right?" conversation occurred. But then he's got gasoline problems and he'll have to build a garage for it and ... It's just not quite what I'm looking for.

So... undecided still.

Gift: Last year, he got Strife. And I'm super happy with that decision. Maybe I'll give him something to help with the upkeep of the Buster Sword. It's been a rough year for it.



Squall: SQUALL! has so much plot and I love it! I love that I decided to write him in first person. It is SO FUN! The poor guy is having very little luck making friends. But that's the whole point, I think. I love everything he's done so far.

I've got another private EP that I should put up already to get started! And he's right on track for dealing with issues. He surprised me with wanting to talk to Jim at the council party and I'm really liking the direction that thread is taking.

Item: No idea what this will be. Though I do like the idea of Angelo. It'll probably be something family related that he'll pretend to hate, but then put in a sacred place in his room.

Gift: Maybe an Angelo-like puppy. Not because all boys should have dogs. Though they should! I just like forcing Squall to take care of something. He'd try to ignore it. Hope it was someone else's dog and eventually take it in. He'd be your typical tough guy. Act all gruff, but deep down he's a big softie with the cute puppy. I think it'll help with all the emotional trauma he needs to sort through.

If not a puppy, I'm not sure what. I'm open to suggestions.


Future: ... Not sure. I'm considering putting Michael Kenmore on reserve for Q1. I'll toss him into PotF, but that's not always a great way to tell for him. He's going to be another plotty pup and I'm not sure if I'll be able to go between two plotty pups. Buuuuut I've been wanting to play him FOREVER! He's got a story that wants to be told.

I've also got a kidlet that I'd like to bring. Ponyo or Chihiro/Sen from Spirited Away. Ponyo begs to have Lilo though.

It'll probably be Michael in the end.

I wish there was more new V canon. Or someone would bring old V characters. Cuz... V!!!

There's only so many squats that even I can do in a day.

Did someone say Volleyball?

Did someone say A/C is fixed? ... No?

[Audible Sigh] Volleyball it is.

Heaven? I don't think they give out PDAs there. It's certainly not what I expected the Lifestream to look like. I don't think you take an elevator to either place. Still... Angeal? You out there?

Kunzel? I wrote you back. Your advice was a little late, but serves me right for not checking my phone more often. Maybe you'll write back to this.

Guess I'll go try to find A4?

-Zack

He was spiraling out of control. He had been for the past two days, but the spiral had started going faster and faster downward. He felt himself being pulled in all directions. One moment, he wanted to show Zell who was the better of the two. A final showdown and this time he wouldn't hold back. In the next moment, he was stung by her words. Too deeply wounded to move. And the next moment, that despair was compounded by the Buster sword's legacy. The legacy he'd left in Midgar. All of those people, Angeal, Cloud, Hollander, even Aeris.

'You're a disgrace to SOLDIER,' Angeal's words rang in his head.

'What happened to dreams and honor?' His own voice replied.

'Why did you kill the townspeople? Answer me! Sephiroth!' He'd begged Sephiroth for an answer.

'DEFEND YOURSELF' Angeal had challenged him, daring Zack to kill him.

'I'll remain loyal to SOLDIER. For now,' Sephiroth had warned darkly.

'You are just a shallow illusion,' she'd told him two days ago.

"Am I?" he questioned aloud. He clenched his fist. No. He knew what he was. He was no longer SOLDIER. He was ready to make his choice. He put one foot in front of the other. His determination was unwavering now. Even as the voices continued talking in his head, they had reached an agreement.

As he passed the rec room, he glanced in. The jukebox greeted him as usual, springing to life and playing the end* [from 2:50] of a song. He nodded in agreement and continued on his mission.

He practically ran down the stairs and hurried as fast as he could to the clothes box. It was already past dinner time and would soon be dark. He hoped he'd meet no one on his way and he didn't.

"I've made up my mind," he told it. "I know what I am." He reached out to open the box, but hesitated a moment, fearing it wouldn't ask him the question again. Finally he gathered his confidence again and opened it. The wings were back. Black and white. Two pairs. It had even provided a black leather trench coat.

For a brief a moment, he considered changing his mind. The moment passed as quickly as it had come. Taking off his shoulder armor and then the sleeveless turtle neck of his SOLDIER uniform, he put on the angel wings. It was dramatic and perhaps a bit ridiculous, but he didn't care. He'd wanted those wings and they were his now. Taking the Buster sword, he pierced the trench so the wings could pass through. Carefully yet awkwardly, he managed to get the coat over the wings. Black wings. Lastly he added his shoulder armor. It wasn't an exact copy*, but the effect was the same.

Forget dreams and honor. He was a monster. He created only death and destruction. He laughed derisively at thought of the death and destruction he'd created. "Even my own death."

No smile, though, was on his face. Just an angry scowl. The irony hadn't escaped him. 'To prepare you for your next fight,' Angeal's words echoed again in his mind, spurring him on. He had to do this while he could. Tabula Rasa couldn't become a Second Nibelheim. It was a blank slate, a new start. One he didn't deserve.

As he left the compound, the jukebox started up again. This time the chorus of a song* [minus the Crisis Core comments]. He just shook his head and waved his hand in the direction of the song without looking.

***

Under the cover of dusk, Zack had found a remote and sturdy looking tree. Angeal's voice competed with Sephiroth's and Aeris' voices while his own past speeches all echoed in his head and spurred him forward.

Somehow he'd found some rope. Perhaps it had been in the trench coat, or maybe he'd found it somewhere else. He couldn't quite remember how he'd gotten, but it was fortuitous because he needed it. Looking up at the tree, he found an appropriately sturdy looking branch and an incline. He threw the rope up and tied it off. A noose had already been fashioned.

It was as though he were in a dream or a memory. He didn't feel like he had control of his own body. It was doing things on its own. Though this wasn't heroic, his dream of being a hero had been misguided at best. Heroes, however, weren't the only ones who always died tragically. Sometimes the monster did as well. Closing his eyes, he jumped from the incline...

Unfortunately, dusk might have been the best time for the task Zack had in mind, but it wasn't the best light for judging the sturdiness of the tree. When he jumped, the rope went taunt for a brief moment before the branch simply snapped off. It had obvious damage from rot and decay. Zack landed and slid across the ground with his momentum. The branch followed after him, crashing onto his shoulder armor, his back and the black wing on his right shoulder, breaking it off of the harness entirely.

Zack lay where he'd landed. The physical pain would ease, but he wasn't even competent enough to kill himself.

[ooc external links]

New favorite icon. It gets double points for having Cloud in it and for being an icon that hasn't been screen captured before.


So Zack is still sorting through Cloud's disappearance. Even though things were different on the island and Cloud didn't need or really want Zack's help, Zack can't help but be Cloud's #1 cheerleader and fan. I'd describe their relationship as a cross between father/son and brother/brother. It's what sensei and pupil would have.

In the midst of learning to be ok with whatever happened to Cloud, Roxas has turned up. Not only does the kid remind him of Cloud with the blonde, spiky hair and blue eyes, but he's just about as emo talking about being heartless and nobody and monsters. Obviously this meant Zack needed to mentor the kid and have him move into Cloud's now empty room. I love this relationship. Yay Square Enix for recycling their characters!

I gave him Advent Children to study. He got two tags out of it which was disappointing, but he'll live. With as many people living on the island now and going through the Compound, obviously more than two people talked to him. Random NPCs?

I don't think Zack will be participating in Opposite Plot. At this point in his development, I can't see using it right now. Of course, there's always making him see what SOLDIER was like to people like AVALANCHE and the WUTAI, but I'm pretty sure I could accomplish that without destroying who he is. I think he'll have enough coping with Opposite Plot. But I don't have anything planned for him right now. At some point, he'll need to learn how to use his gunblade and maybe check out curling.


Future:

I've not done so well playing more than one pup. Hiro was great, but I had a tough time being the squealing fan boy all the time. Pacey wanted to tag everything and I allowed myself to get overwhelmed. He also never really settled into living on the island. He tried, but it was all just a cover.

Pup on the horizon, as in 9 months on the horizon if I can wait that long, is a pup I wanted to bring to the game originally. This pup is broken and there's a lot of opportunity to play that depth. I've been fooling around with another mun who plays a pup from the same canon and that's been a blast. I still feel like I'll have big shoes to fill bringing Mystery Pup, but it won't take much to make me love this pup as much as I love Zack. That's what it's all about after all, the pup love!

One of the delightful perks of being the owner of a young puppy was that they could really only go about four to six hours a night without being let out again to do their business. This lead to Zack being up at a very early, even for him, hour of the morning. It wasn't so much that cleaning the hut was difficult as it was very troublesome to discover these little treasures left by the puppy, especially when barefoot.

The nice thing for Zack was that he'd never had a difficulty with getting back to sleep. He tried to be as quiet as possible, though, to keep from waking Cloud. Since huts weren't the best sound insulators, it did require at least a small modicum of effort. Which was why Zack hadn't noticed the bedroom door was ajar. He was focused on doing everything in the quietest manner; walking, opening the door. It was the puppy who saw his chance and tore off for the open bedroom door. He wasn't allowed in Cloud's bedroom, unless invited, so obviously the opened door was an invitation.

"Puppy!" Zack growled in the quietest way possible. Maybe he should have named it already. He tiptoed toward the door and then stood in the door frame in shock. The bed was empty. Not only was the bed empty, but the room looked completely unlived in--not that Cloud ever carried much, but the two items which remained made it obvious that the completely unexpected had happened. Cloud was gone.

Some things in life just happen to you. Tabula Rasa was one of those things for Zack Fair. After staring at the empty room for a few moments or minutes or hours, he wasn't sure, he turned, punched the door frame and left the hut with the front door ajar. The puppy left completely unsupervised.

He headed to the dojo and realized it wasn't as early as it had been. The sun was already up.

After finding the sword, Zack had meditated. Thoughts about everything bombarded him accompanied by the emotions of those thoughts. He had cried in the church and eventually decided that it was best to find some place quiet and alone where he could properly and undisturbed mourn his friends, his mentors.

Now safely at home, he cried more freely. It was easier, if only marginally, with Javert since he had not killed him and their time together had been so much shorter. He remembered the first time they met, the time he had brought Zack out of his misery when he was trapped in Mark Cohen and fixed them both a cup of coffee. He remembered building this hut and their disagreement about dreams. The one big thing that was markedly different about him and Angeal.

Eventually the tears had stopped. He still felt emotional about everything, but he'd given himself the chance mourn properly so it wasn't a feeling of hopelessness that gripped him now. He was lying on his cot, the sword's hilt still in his hand and the rest of the sword lying next to him on the cot. He stared at the ceiling, looking at nothing in the room, instead he was caught up in his own thoughts.

First Outcome of Prompt If Zack Hadn't Killed Angeal

"To prepare you ... for your next fight."

( AU Meme Drabble-Fics )

Back in his own body, Zack had felt infinitely better. He was able to do all of the things he enjoyed and leave the thinking to someone else. At least the broody, emotional, philosophical type of thinking. All of that thinking had depressed him. He'd just back into action and accomplishment with the twice the zealous as before. If that were possible.

He'd returned to the IPD office where Ginger's murder was the big case. It was really the only thing most people still wanted to discuss. Zack hadn't known Ginger personally. Maybe it was a good thing. It kept emotions from clouding his judgment. Yet his judgment hadn't been required. As long as those emotions were kept at bay and prevented from creeping back in as they had when he'd been in Mark's body.

There in the office, he'd found Samuel Vimes looking over the information for her murder. Since Zack was so eager to get back to work, Vimes decided to give the young man an easy assignment: Interview Sam Winchester. He wasn't a suspect so it shouldn't be too tough. Or at least Zack hoped since he didn't know Sam Winchester nor did he have any idea what he looked like or where he lived. Vimes had given him a brief description of all of the above questions and Zack had agreed to get right on it as any good rookie would have done.

Later, on his way out of the IPD Office, after he was semi-confident he could find the Winchester cabin, he thought maybe he'd been a little too enthusiastic. He wasn't a third class and hadn't been one in a long time, but rookie was still such an easy role for him to slide into especially when faced with authority. He reminded himself that he was or had been a first class. He had also recently done a lot more philosophical thinking than usual. And while it hadn't been the best experience, it did prove to him that he could do it contrary to any excuse he might have given in the past.

It wasn't a tough assignment, however, so there no need to start second guessing himself. Just ask a few questions: What is your relationship to the deceased? Where were you the night of the murder? Is there anything we should know? Did you know of any enemies Ginger might have had? If he could take on the whole Shinra army, he could interview Sam Winchester.

[Order will be Zack & T continue above. Zack & Sam with T & Dean breaking off into their own thread. And T or Dean let me know if you want to jump in.]