(no subject)

[1st_class_zack]

Zack wasn't one to push people's buttons, despite the fact that he had a certain knack for it. He just really didn't like people shooting his partner, regardless of the reasons, and he really didn't like that person then being switched into Aeris, even if it was island magic and not actually a devious ploy by Sarah Connor to ruin his life.

Maybe if someone had been forthcoming with details, either Sarah (as unlikely as that was) or Austin, other than Yeah, killing liquid metal machine and tried to kill my son. Of course, maybe if Zack had waited for them to get better, as unlikely as it was that either of them would have volunteered the information, he might have had better luck. Unfortunately waiting and patience were not his strong points.

Which was why he'd found himself following Sarah down the path to the compound. Being suspciously angry was so much easier than thinking about things.

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[1st-zack.livejournal.com]

Throughout her rant, he had gone through several reactions. The usual attack mode, then being stunned by everything she was saying back to attack mode and ending with confusion mixed with just a little guilt. He hadn't managed to get anything out other than some grunts, whose tone varied based on the emotion he'd been feeling.

The first strike had been a surprise, the second one he was ready for and wouldn't have stopped.

Her story was completely insane, but that made it all the more believable. Especially since Austin had been insisting since day one that he was a liquid metal killing machine. People didn't just make that kind of thing up. It suddenly became clear why Austin had written that bad guys were a waste of time to worry over. His partner had been one.

A moment had gone by since Austin's question as Zack had processed everything, a blank look on his face. Finally coming around, he looked at Austin than at Sarah in Aeris. This place was giving him a headache.

[midgar-flowers.livejournal.com]

"Lemme go!" Sarah hollered, yanking away from Austin fiercely. "Goddamn it. It wasn't any of your fucking business what my business was anyway, but you gotta just pick and pick and pick. Rude. Rude!"

She scowled and stalked over to a rock and sat on it until her scowl faded to a frown and she was calm again. That only happened when she had her head in her hands and she was rubbing them with the heels of her hands, trying to keep the headache at bay.

"You got your damn questions answered, Zack? That good enough for you?" she finally said in a quiet voice that was less angry, but still slightly indignant.

[skybot-snd.livejournal.com]

This made absolutely no sense. Was the island having a bodysnatching period again? Truth compulsion? Forced behavioral changes? Or maybe it was just Give the Terminator a Headache day (which didn't make it particularly stand out from any other day). Then again, it could have just been relationship related. Those never made any sense.

A bewildered frown had gotten stubbornly glued to his face as he shifted his gaze between them slowly, trying to decipher the situation to no avail.

"What's going on?" he resisted inserting 'the hell' in there - while it didn't match his speech pattern, it seemed appropriate - but his tone made it clear that this wasn't a casual question.

[1st-zack.livejournal.com]

Zack rubbed his face where she'd hit him. It stung, but he'd be fine. It was his pride that was wounded.

Yeah. He'd gotten his answers and about a dozen more that he hadn't asked. He ducked his head, feeling defeated or like that 16 year old back in the training room who'd been lectured by Angeal. "I'm sorry," he spoke quietly. "I guess I deserved that." There wasn't any doubt in his voice though, just regret. "I only lived on the run for a day. Eleven years."

He turned and looked into the distance at nothing in particular, trying to sort through everything she'd said. Completely unable to get out of his head enough to hear Austin's question as more than background noise, much less to answer it.

[midgar-flowers.livejournal.com]

"Austin," Sarah said in the least non-snippy voice she could imagine coming out of her mouth (Jesus H. Christ, it sounded full of love or something). "It's Sarah. God, I want a fucking cigarette and some serious coffee now. Someone tell me how it's even possible for some damn island to throw people's minds into other bodies."

She closed her eyes and pouted ever so slightly.

"It's annoying." She glanced at Zack. "Apology accepted." She frowned a tiny bit. "Yeah. Eleven years, never stopping, always moving. You get the drift. Highly unpleasant. It kinda sucks the fun out of living, really."

[skybot-snd.livejournal.com]

Okay. Now it made perfect sense. Sadly, it didn't make matters any less headache-inducing. More, if anything.

At least they seemed to have calmed down some, for the time being.

He couldn't help but spend a few moments simply staring at Sarah-inside-Aeris. It was one of the least appropriate choices the island could have made. Which was probably why it had chosen it in the first place.

He doubted Sarah meant to sound soothing while requesting a fucking cigarette, or that she intended to… pout. But it was still fascinating to observe. From a purely scientific perspective.

"The island just does things," he said, once the urge to stare had worn off. The island had made him human, so he'd given up on seeking explanations for other phenomena it randomly offered. "It's probably bored."

He glanced over to Zack, who seemed more shell-shocked than anything. Easy as it was, he couldn't really blame him. "I can go make coffee." There wasn't much else he could do.

[1st-zack.livejournal.com]

Zack couldn't imagine what eleven years of running like he'd done that one day would have been like. What kind of a shell of a man he might have become.

Turning he faced Austin. "How could you do it?" His shell shock had turned to questions which unfortunately for the terminator were questions about a former life. In the back of his mind, Zack knew he'd pledged to uphold the Declaration of Rights. But he couldn't let it go.

"Was it just your programming?" But it wasn't a sincere question. "I see why you didn't want me bothering to figure out who the bad guys were. I might confuse myself." He directed a glare at Austin. This one much better than the ones he'd been tossing around in the rec room earlier in the week. He now felt empathy and sympathy for Sarah. Which meant he felt betrayed by his partner, despite the fact that Austin had been very upfront about being a killing machine from their first patrol.

[midgar-flowers.livejournal.com]

"Zack, just leave him the hell alone," Sarah growled. "Do you have to have someone to beat on? It doesn't fucking matter what he was. It matters what the fuck he is. So get off your moral fucking high horse and give the liquid metal fucker a goddamn break."

She stabbed a finger at him.

"He didn't have a choice. He was just doing what he was made to do. Unfortunately for me, it happened to involve attempting to kill my son. That shit doesn't matter anymore and if I'm willing to do my best to let go of it, I expect the rest of the damn island to do the same. Including you, Mister Fucking Gotta Hava Quest. I don't need protecting, I don't want it, and I didn't ask for it."

She glanced at Austin and tried, once again, not to flinch. Easier in Aseris's body. Much easier. It was gonna take her awhile to get over the physical reaction and the flashbacks and the terror, but he hadn't done anything to her on the island. Nothing.

"I'd..." she smiled at him and in Aeris's body it was luminous, "I'd like some coffee." She wasn't a mean woman, just hard. Hard because that's what Skynet had made her into.

[skybot-snd.livejournal.com]

He was angry now. It wasn't the kind of anger that incited violence – that would have been too easy – but a dejected exasperation that stretched him far too thin. It didn't show in his expression, and he watched with detached fascination as Sarah unleashed a verbal assault on Zack.

It was more than vaguely surreal, catching him completely off guard. But as much as he appreciated the gesture, Zack was his to deal with. He approached him with a deliberate stride, meeting his gaze and staring him down coolly. Zack was slightly taller than he was, but that had never damaged his looming capacity before.

"You don't see anything. Except monochrome," his voice was slow, calm, cold and measured. He'd never bothered to hide what he was, and if Zack was feeling betrayed, it was his goddamn problem. The reason he'd suggested that Zack stopped bothering looking for bad guys had nothing to do with what he had been. It was simply because his partner didn't possess the capacity of seeing more than one side of a situation. It was a necessary quality in a soldier, and a lethal flaw in a cop.

Zack was no 'bad guy', but he was in the risk group of being a mindless drone.

"And I don't owe you an explanation." He didn't owe it to anyone. "If you've got a problem, ask Vimes to reassign you."

He liked Zack, even respected him on occasion, but he'd had enough.

He turned to Sarah. "Okay," he muttered, feeling drained. "Let's go."

[1st-zack.livejournal.com]

It was all true, though obviously colored in the most negative of lights. He did have a moral high horse, but he didn't use it to look down on the people. It had just taken him to higher ground. In the past that was. On the island, it had been nothing but trouble. And he could only see monochrome. This was the target. That was the extent of it in the past. He'd been trying to change. Angeal, for example, had been a monster, but he hadn't been the bad guy. Even Genesis, Zack had forgiven him, saved him from what he'd become. That was the true problem. Zack needed to save people and no one needed saving on the island.

"I ...," he was fumbling for words. He sighed. "I'm sorry. All I know how to do is protect. It's been my life for a while."

"Austin," he spoke up before they left. "Listen, man. You aren't the monster. Maybe it's me." He looked over to Sarah then back to Austin. "You don't owe me an explanation. Tabula Rasa, after all. I know the Declaration of Rights. Listen, I'm going to go look for Aeris. Take care of her body," he said to both of them.

[skybot-snd.livejournal.com]

Great. Zack had switched from the highly irritating Heroic Mode to Puppy Mode, thus disabling Austin's capacity to remain angry.

He drew a long breath through his nose, watching Zack throughout it. "You're IPD. Protecting people is what we do."

It didn't mean placing blame. Moral judgments weren't a part of the job.

Self-blame wasn't any better.

"Zack, there's no such thing as monsters," he remarked, tone flippant. "You should be old enough to know that." He allowed himself a hint of a smile, with a teasing undertone.

It may have sounded like a joke, but it wasn't. He'd disliked the term ever since Angua had told him people considered werewolves to be monsters. It was as sketchy a definition as 'bad guy', and he had no intention of employing or subscribing to either.