1st_class_zack | [For Roxas]

[For Roxas]

It was just another day of the life on Tabula Rasa. Zack had woken up at daybreak and done some squats. Some was more accurately described as hundreds, but he hadn't been counting. At least not after three hundred.

Today a nice swim in the ocean sounded good. He'd left most of his clothes on the beach and even left the Buster Sword propped against a tree in the sand. Strife, having only ever lived on Tabula Rasa, had no fear of the beach or the waves on the beach. So he followed Zack exuberantly into the water.

After a few laps, he felt refreshed, fully awake and ready for breakfast! The two headed back to shore and out of the sea onto the dry sand that stuck to Zack's skin and Strife's coat.

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"My Organization was called the Shinra Company. I was part of their SOLDIER group. They had another group called the Turks. I think I told you a little about them when you asked about ...," he paused he remembered the name, "Reno."

"I think that's a good dream to have," he said. His tone had lightened, but he still felt a weight was on him. He'd wanted to be his own person too. He wanted to go home and see Aeris again and become a mercenary. But he'd decided to embrace his dream of becoming a hero and making sure Cloud got home safe. He didn't regret that choice. He would have made that choice a million times over, but he did regret that his organization had made the choice to destroy him. Him and all of his friends. Angeal. Genesis. Cloud. Even Sephiroth.

Reno. That strange man who looked so much like Axel. Roxas frowned for a second, not liking the memory of that pang of shock and disappointment.

"I think...I have to know who I am to know what I want. Does that make sense?" He finally said. That had been what he wanted back in his own world, the closest thing he would call a dream.

Zack nodded. It made perfect sense to him. Where else could you start except at the beginning?

Roxas sank into a sitting position in the sand, his legs loosely crossed in front of him instead of curling into his usual ball. "Sometimes though," he laid aside the gunblade. "It's kinda hard when your weapon's been a part of you for so long. Just another step I have to take, I guess."

"I knooooow the feeling, friend," he elongated the syllable for effect and he slung the guard of the Buster sword's hilt onto his shoulder.

"I felt lost before this turned up. And I wasn't happy to see it the day it found me. It's not mine. Not really."

But now it made him feel whole. It was a reminder of the things he needed to do while still being a reminder of the things he had done.

"It's yours and it feels right in your hand, and you can fight with it. But it isn't yours?" Roxas asked. He knew all about that actually. Why did the keyblade choose me?! he'd demanded, one of his justifications to defect from the Organization. He needed to know why.

Zack shook his head in reply. He turned his back to Roxas, looking instead to the sky over the endless sea.

"He gave it to me and I gave it to Cloud." He didn't turn or look back.

"My weapon belonged to someone else too. He went to sleep for a while and it was mine. But it's his now," Roxas said.

And then he realized something and suddenly smiled. A whole new thought had occurred to him, maybe because of something Aeris had said, or maybe because he was just finally learning how to be in this place. "No...I think, back home, it belongs to both of us now."

Behind him, Roxas' tone had changed. Zack hung his head slightly.

Zack... If you want to be a hero, you need to have dreams... and honor. He remembered that speech. It hadn't made sense to him at the time. He'd thought he was in trouble somehow for not being serious in the training mission. Back home, his memories had been more vivid and he could easily recall them. But even here, if he thought really hard, he could remember things like this that Angeal had said. The important things. They weren't as vivid, but they were just as helpful.

"I will," he replied quietly to himself. He pulled himself together and turned around to face Roxas again.

"Do you share it?" His brow was furrowed though his tone was curious. He didn't always understand what Roxas said, but he'd written that off as Roxas being from some place different than Midgar. Often it was difficult to get the details down when the subject was a play he'd never been.

Roxas' peaceful mood shifted when he realized what he'd said aloud. To explain what he'd said would mean telling Zack, fully, about who he was. Maybe it was cruel of him to think so, but he only just felt like he was Roxas to him and not the-boy-who-looks-like-Cloud. He wanted to be just Roxas a little longer, instead of Roxas-the-knockoff-of-Sora.

"Back home, I'm part of another person," Roxas admitted. He drew one knee up to his chest, wrapping his arms around it and laying his cheek on his knee to look up at Zack sideways. "I have a lot of things to explain. I will, someday, but not just yet."

He'd already opened his mouth to ask what Roxas meant by that when Roxas finished by saying 'not just yet.'

'Part of another person?' he thought. He wondered if it was anything like how Director Lazard had become part of Angeal. Was Roxas a clone? Questions for another day.

Zack nodded. Those questions would just have to wait for another day.

"Want to head up to the compound and see if there's any breakfast left?"

Roxas saw the question on Zack's lips and was glad when he nodded and didn't ask. He'd understood that time back in the rec room and he understood now. Roxas just needed a little more time.

"Yeah, breakfast would be good," he said, smiling. That little workout had left him hungrier than he would have thought.

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[For Roxas]

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